Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
