My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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