Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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