so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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