Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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