butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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