i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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