hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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