And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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