Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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