I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
