I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
