An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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