I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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