Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
