don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
