I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
