Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
