I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
