Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
