I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
