the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize