Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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