i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
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It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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