I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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