you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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