How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
