I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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