I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
