Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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