we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
