How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize