Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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