ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
