I'm drive I can fine osifer
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
