I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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