I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
