So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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