What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
