ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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