turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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