Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.