OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed