even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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