a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think your dad took our porno
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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