i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
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You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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