I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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