i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
be right there i have to get my cape
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
