Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
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I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk