My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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