we're blogging at a bar
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
