My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
