Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
