Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
