Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's the barista slut.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
