I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is wine microwaveable?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
