I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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