P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im holly from the hills drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
