I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
