I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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