Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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