why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
